So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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