i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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