I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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