Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
