dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
