Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
