Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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