i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
