I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
