He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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