The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
