After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just want nice things and good sex
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
