We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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