weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
