the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize