you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
