so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
