I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
