Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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