Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
