Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
