Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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