I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
