i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I yelled at your uterus for you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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