As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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