Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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