I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
