____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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