My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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