I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
