Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
