Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
