we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
