I got chris browned last night
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
