forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
