There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize