Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
