Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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