"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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