plz talk dirty to me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
