My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
