well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
