i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
