the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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