but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
