I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There r osticjed everywhere
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
