Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
