This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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