she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
