first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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