So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love you. Go after that dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
