If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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