Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i don't like sucking hair
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize