So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
