DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
