so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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