we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
