; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
