he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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