We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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