how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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