The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
